Oh, you crochet? Screw you.

Knitting vs. Crochet

Am I just a bitter, jaded harpy or does the world hate crocheters? Because when I look at patterns for knitting vs. crochet, I can’t help but feel like the world is giving me the finger.

I get the fact that I’m loitering in the wrong demographic, and therefore I can’t really expect all of the material aimed at crocheters to be useful or relevant to me. I mean, if you’re a four foot tall granny and you want to join Hell’s Angels, go ahead, just don’t expect them to make any leather jackets in your size. Amiright? So, I’m a twentysomething who’s taken up a hobby that used to be dominated by crotchety old biddies with nothing else to do but spend their pension on yarn, churn out baby hats, and wait for death. So, I don’t really have any business complaining about anything.

But here’s the thing. I keep seeing things like this:

 

 

That’s Lionbrand Yarn’s Knitted iPad Fair Isle Tech Vest. Isn’t it clever and pretty and adorable??

Here’s their crochet offering:

Awww! Isn’t it… uh… lame??

Ummm what?

What the hell?? And before you ask, this isn’t one isolated incident of one publisher releasing two patterns and making the knitting one a little cooler. I get this kind of knitting vs. crochet smackdown in my inbox Every. Damn. Week. My Lion Brand newsletters look like this:

12 New Patterns out this week! Knit yourself a delicate lacy hat, a trendy cabled scarf, or a cool entrelac afghan!! :D!!

Oh, and you crocheters? Here’s another cowl. Go hang yourselves with it. 

Same story, every time. Craft store shelves are lined with knitting books filled with gorgeous, on-fashion pieces and pretty accessories. Crochet pattern books are full of amigurumi and baby blankets. Well, if I make one more google-eyed crocheted toy I’m gonna puke, and my friends aren’t breeding fast enough to justify all these tiny pastel afghans. If you crochet, odds are you gave the hell up and just learned to write your own patterns a long time ago, like I did.

Why Do You Hate Us?

I have a hard enough time just getting people to acknowledge that crocheting is a thing. I once dated a boy for nine years, and not once did he ever use the word “crochet”.

“Hey, how’s your knitting coming?”

“Oh, you know, I’m still crocheting, as I was yesterday and will still be doing tomorrow, since that’s what I do, but yeah, it’s going great.”

“Cool.”

You know who else calls it my knitting? My mother. And she taught me to crochet.

I get that knitting is more popular and more widely practiced and that a great deal of our fabrics and textile manufacturing is still knitted. But I don’t know why. In my opinion and experience, crocheting is easier to learn, easier to master and much more versatile than knitting. You can teach a little kid to crochet. You can learn to change colors, direction and stitch pattern mid-row without ever wanting to kill yourself. Can you say the same about knitting? And, oh yeah, crocheting in a spiral is just as easy as crocheting rows, and doesn’t require any extra or different tools. Which is useful, since, ya know, humans tend to be roundish.

I actually did try to teach myself to knit, just to end the pain. It actually just brought a whole lot more pain. I am confident, quick and downright goddamn graceful with a hook in my hand. That’s not a word that can otherwise ever be applied to me. But as soon as you add another stick, everything goes to shit, fast.

Come on, crocheters. It’s not like I’m the only one out here. Am I right, or am I right? Helloooo? Anybody?

Great.

Comments

23 Replies to “Oh, you crochet? Screw you.”

  1. Haha great post–now I understand why people say “knit vs crochet” as if there is a war going on.

    I think the problem is that advanced knitters like to think of it as little more than a knitting technique. It comes across as inefficient at best whenever it is not being used for things like lacework where it clearly IS superior and can easily become the basis for entire projects. But from what I can see, it is becoming more popular than knitting because of all its other advantages so we really do need more patterns!

    1. We REALLY do! Not to mention that crochet is much better for anything shaped or round, can you imagine trying to knit a stuffed toy? Possible, sure. Make me want to stab my own eyeballs with the knitting needles? Also yes. I keep finding that some of the best lace and doily patterns that I can find are European–Pinterest has some good ones, if you don’t mind Google translate and reading from a chart!

  2. So with you! I can knit and crochet but, don’t knit too often. It’s really much more of a pain.

    Because of the poor-availability-of-patterns issue, I’ve become quite good at making up a pattern as I go.

    Now, If I could only get better at writing them as I go.

    1. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. And then when I do write them down, I go to read them again and think, “Did a weasel on Ritalin write this? Are these words? What does any of this mean?”

    1. They definitely each have a place! For me, that place is “The Land of Frustration and Sadness” lol. But seriously, I have made some simple knitted projects before, and I just wasn’t having any fun practicing and learning to get better so I usually stick to crochet, but there are many garments I would never even attempt to crochet because knitting would make a better fabric. Plus, knitters and crocheters are kindred spirits <3

  3. I agree that there is a place and time for both crocheting and knitting. I do both but prefer crocheting. I’ve made many things through the years. One year in particular I crocheted afghans for the families in our family. My son and his wife displayed my work on the back of their sofa for a few years. One day my afghan was replaced by a knitted one that my daughter-in-law’s mother had given them. I hope the person that got my afghan at the thrift store enjoy it! I’m forever hurt.

    1. oh no!😣 they could have still kept that in another room or just store it not at a thrift store. Anywho I think a knitted one or a crochet one for me’🤔 same difference it’s yarn.

      1. Yes, it’s too bad they didn’t keep it. I’m storing several pieces that my great grandmother and great aunts made, I just added tags with their information and stored it where it would stay safe and clean. I just appreciate having them around, even if they’re not displayed at the moment.

  4. I love crochet! LOVE crochet! I suck at knitting, though I am trying to learn. I agree with pattern frustration, but I think the thing that gets me the most is knitting snobbery! LYS are few and far between in my area, so when I go to one I usually spend lots on yarn. I have noticed that most are trying really hard to start catering to crocheters as well. I am hoping that this translates to more available patterns. There is one store that is in another town, about 1 hour away, where the owner and I discuss the knitted patterns and work together to try to translate them to crochet. She does not crochet, but I appreciate the time she spends with me and my art. This is a great article and much appreciated. 🙂

    1. Thanks, glad you liked it! Yup, I don’t get the pattern snobbery from these publications either, especially since most actual knitters don’t seem to feel/act like knitting is superior. A ton of them do both, and I’ve never met anyone who uses yarn who didn’t instantly want to be friends.

  5. I am so surprised by this article. I have been crocheting for years and have not encountered the problem described. I really wonder why that is (no, I’m not a crotchety old biddy:))? I wonder why so many have such a hard time finding wonderful crochet patterns. What may I be doing differently? I put in my google search “crochet (free) pattern….” for something I want to make and A LOT of options pop up!! I rarely get a knit option among my search results, but if I do… that was just today: a beautiful knit infinity scarf… I google to see if there is a crochet version- and there often is! (Did you try using the moss stitch to create a “faux colorwork” baby sweater?) I find crocheting very relaxing, knitting makes me crabby- we all have our preferences. A friend of mine showed me her loomknitting and apologized for it not being “the real thing”. Wait… it’s its own thing! We don’t have to compare, just enjoy being creative in any way that suits us best. People around me are respectful about my crocheting, although they find it a strange word sometimes. Anyway, I wish for everyone’s experience to turn into a positive one! It’s a shame anyone should feel frustrated trying to be creative!

    1. Thanks for your thoughtful comment! One thing to keep in mind is that this post was actually written almost nine years ago now (it was moved over to this site from my Tumblr blog about 2 years ago.) Back then, Ravelry and Pinterest were much more new, and it was still pretty tough to find patterns for specific things. You could do it, but it took a lot of searching. This post was also written all in good fun–I love all my knitting friends, and I love the pattern designers and publishers who put things out there <3 I do think crochet is (and definitely was) treated as sort of a "lesser" art–as though people still associated crochet with garish 70's afghans and dusty doilies, and the available patterns reflected that. I think a lot about that has changed in the last 8 years! There's been an explosion of creativity ever since Pinterest and Ravelry made it easy for anyone to put their creative patterns online. But people still get a laugh out of this post, so it's still here 🙂

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